family not understanding surgery


http://www.shh.org/bypassforum/Topic20660.aspx
Print Topic | Close Window

By rosiecruzone - 5/13/2011 3:55:39 PM
Hi Everyone!

I'm Rosie and this is my first post.  My surgery is scheduled for July 25th with Dr. Holland.  I'm excited, yes, but I'm also really nervous.  I'm married and my husband and i discuss all options and we are very excited for this day to come. But my family is not so supportive...........they say eat less and exercise more! Easy for them to say since they are not the ones with joint pain and shortness of breath. I've been over weight all my life and i'm so ready for the new me. I know Dr. Holland has the best team, so i know i'm in good hands. How did you guys and gals tell your family and how did they take it?  I appreciate any and all feedback!


 

Thanks again

Rosie Cruz





By MegsBlueEyes - 5/16/2011 5:42:04 AM
Hi Rosie -

Welcome to the forum!  Nice to see you posting on here - I hope to see more postings from you during your WLS journey!

With me, I guess I had it a bit "lucky" in the sense that previous to me having my Gastric Bypass, two of my close Aunts had it done, as well as my Mother the year before me.  I would say just about everyone in my family was very supportive & understanding regarding the surgery.  I was also married at the time - although my (now ex-) husband understood and was ready for a new me, I don't think he truly "appreciated" or grasped the concept of what was going to change.....

I had several friends who seemed to be "against" it - and those said few, I barely talk to now.  They said the same things, about eating less, exercising more...blah blah blah. 

All I can say/offer is this:  You need to do what is best for YOU and your family/situation.  Do not let anyone talk you out of it or make you feel guilty.  This surgery is not the easy way out - it's a lifelong committment.  As regards to the negative nellies - just let the comments roll off your back - people who do not understand, may never will - everyone has an opinion about everything, huh?  If some of those people are willing, have them come to a support group meeting - where they can meet others who have had the surgery. 

Best of luck to you through your journey and if you ever want to talk - email me anytime megs@ptd.net

Be proud of your decision - and stick strong to it!!  YOU CAN DO THIS :-)
By tinalouise - 5/16/2011 3:16:55 PM
Hi, Rosie!
Congratulations on your choice to change your life for a longer life. I had my surgery with Dr. Okolicha 9/27/10 and it was the best and smartest choice I've ever made. I've lost over 85 pounds since then and dropped quite a few sizes.
My sister had the surgery 4 yrs ago (if you go to shh.org, that red head speaking about bari surgery is my sister, Lisa!) and it took me quite some time to decide on it for myself because she was sick for the first 4 mos. and no one knew why. I finally made the decision when I feared I was becoming immobile! My parents weren't too happy about it because of what Lisa went through, but they didn't try to talk me out of it either. They knew I was unhappy. Luckily, I had none of the symptoms Lisa had and haven't had any problems since then!
Come to the support group meetings; they are so helpful. You'll hear other people's experiences and advice and have a chance to talk with the doctors and staff. The staff is SUPER SUPPORTIVE! Lisa and Megan will be your biggest cheerleaders and are sooo encouraging!
My friends never ragged on me for my decision; they are also encouraging me on my journey...and that's what it is - a journey. Not an easy way out! A tool!
Best of luck on your own journey. BigGrin I think it's awesome that your husband is supportive, too. Megs gave you good advice, too, invite your friends or family to attend a meeting with you. They may just be worried about you and only listening to the negative things people say about the surgery. Or perhaps they've never known the feelings of fatigue, embarrassment, or desperation that comes with being over-weight, obese. Maybe once they see how happy and healthy you're getting, they'll understand your choice. If not, well, you can get new friends...there are plenty of people at the meetings and on the forum to support and encourage you!

By Nadia - 5/16/2011 4:40:38 PM
Hi Rosie and welcome to the Forum.   You have made the right decision to better your life and health by opting to have the bariatric surgery.

Sometimes loved ones are negative about the surgery because they are scared for us.  They hear horror stories from other people or from naysayers.  Sit down with them and tell them how important surgery is for you, that you have tried everything without success and that this is your last option. 

My family and close friends were extremely supportive.  Only one cousin was not.  It turns out that she wanted me to stay fat so that she could be the better looking one, etc.  Well, we have drifted apart I am sorry to say.  Other than that, everyone has been great.

My RNY surgery was on June 30, 2009 with Dr. CLarence Holland Jr. and I lost weight from 360 lbs being my highest weight, 326 prior to surgery and now I weigh 178 lbs.  How awesome is that?  I live a great and healthy new life.  I thank God and Dr. Holand for saving my life from obesity.

Rosie, I know that it can work for you too.
By rosiecruzone - 5/17/2011 2:05:47 PM
Thank you all so very much for the feed back. I so happy that i have a great support here. This just made my day! Smile

Ive been so undecided for so long and i'm finally excited with now going through with it. I have a great co- worker who had it done 5 yrs ago so she is helping me prepare before surgery. Thank you all again. I know that i am making the right choice for ME! BigGrin
By Nadia - 5/17/2011 2:11:03 PM
Rosie, You are making the right decision and it is a very personal one.  In the mean time, try to master the 30-60 rule for eating and drinking, and stop drinking any carbonated beverages such as Diet Coke because you will not be able to drink it in the future after surgery.  If possible, try to lose a few pounds before surgery because it will help your liver to be clean rather than fatty for surgery.  I am just sharing pointers that others have shared with me before surgery.  Stock up on the correct foods in your pantry and get rid of any unhealthy foods.  Your future starts NOW!

If you need any help, feel free to contact me by phone or email.  570-588-3897 or nworobij@ptd.net
By rosiecruzone - 5/24/2011 2:52:03 PM
Thanks again Nadia for all the tips! Will start making changes asap! Thank you all again!
By tinalouise - 5/24/2011 3:03:12 PM
Good luck, Rosie!!!! BigGrin
By Jim - 6/8/2011 9:25:24 AM
Yes, congratulations, and best of luck.

July 25th is my anniversary date - I had mine July 25th of 2006.  5 years ago...seems like only yesterday I was wondering how anyone could only eat half an egg.  Then after the surgery, when I ate my first solid food, I couldn't even eat half an egg! 

God bless!
By Nadia - 6/8/2011 5:36:56 PM
Radio Man,  Happy upcoming 5th bariversary!
By tinalouise - 6/23/2011 3:31:43 PM
Hey, Rosie, I see you only have a little over a month to go till your surgery...how are things going for you? I hope all is well! Wink
By Nadia - 7/5/2011 3:02:59 PM
Rosie,  Are you ready for your big day?
By hopeandjess11@yahoo.com - 7/6/2011 1:09:53 AM
torosie

toyour though about your family.sapoting you if they care they will help you out and don;t e neves about the surgery you are in goo hands with dr .hollan and the rest of the team .

your family will see the resaults nd love what they see i know that my family does and they know i like it to .

i have always been a fat cubby kid allmy life i like what i see and so will your husband when you have your surgery and your achs and pains go away

i ha all that pain to and now that i toke off that weight i feel great so go for it and let me know how you made out with your surgury.

by the way i had lap band done and i foke off all my weight and l am at my goal weight and  i love it

plese wright me and let me know how you ,are doing withyour surgery and if you need the supporti am hear for you my name is Dbra Hofmqan

and i will support you in any way that i can.good luck on the 25th and remmber you are in good hands with dr. Holland
By yailyns - 7/10/2011 8:58:13 PM
BigGrin Hey Rosie, I just had surgery June 21st. So many of my friends and family were against the surgery at first and tried to convince me out of it. Not much changed when the day of surgery came. I had my mother and my boyfriend there (boyfriend was against it but showed up for support anyway) when I woke up from surgery. I only had one person who was truly supportive of my decision the whole time which was my mom and honestly that was enough for me. It's important to have support but its also important to do what you know is going to best for you and your health. I know its hard but try to ignore the negative comments if any and do what u need to do. I wish you the best of luck .
By Meg - 7/13/2011 10:25:09 AM
Yailyn,

So glad to see you on here! How are things goung for you?

~Meghan